If you didn’t have to do divorce from the anger it took to create separation, but from the possibility of what separation could create, what really could be created that we haven’t even considered? After 20 years of marriage, countless classes, therapies, and facilitation by professionals, I finally came to the awareness that staying together and continuing to try to “make it work” wasn’t going to work for me. So what comes up when you hear that? Giving up. Failure. Embarrassment. Being wrong. Abandonment. Guilt. Shame. Regret. Fear. What’s next?!
All of these (and more) are possible emotions that we may move through in the process of divorce. Yes, but they sound worse that actually going through them…. that is, when you apply the tools of Access Consciousness to the process. I’d like to introduce some of the tools and processes that I used in my own divorce and how it created an even greater relationship with myself, my family and my ex.
One of the first tools that I like to introduce is, what is true and correct for you will feel expansive and light, and what is not true for you, or is a lie, will feel heavy and contracted. So when looking at several possibilities, if you choose those that feel light and expansive, your whole world will open up for you.
What’s really funny, is that most of our lives we’ve been taught to go with our gut, which is usually a heavy feeling in your stomach. That is usually a contraction. And how heavy and contracted is your life at this moment? The bad news is… you have to be willing to look at it. This is not easy for most people, yet it is one of the simplest ways to undo the messes we have made in our lives. The good news is you can change it. If you acknowledge that you created it, you can uncreate it.
I encourage you to consider the choices you have been living with, and if they are continuing to work for you… If not, you can always choose again, and again, and again.